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Ang lihim sa likod ng tanong

Ginto na naging bato pa

Ang gago ko kase

Nasa harap ko na tumingin pa ko sa likod

Ang tanga ko kase

Lahat ng sakripisyo mo binaliwala ko

Para sa taong pagkatapos akong gamitin ay tinapon na lang

Pero bumabalik balik parin ako

Gaya mo na pabalik balik sakin

Kahit ilang beses na kong ipinagtabuyan

Gaya ng pangtataboy ko sayo

Kahit ilang mura at insulto ang natanggap ko

Gaya ng ilang daang mura at insulting natanggap mo sakin

Babalik at babalik parin

Kase bulag tayo sa bagay na nagpapahalaga satin

Mas masaya kase tayo na tayo yung nagpapahalaga

Nagmahahal

Bulag sa realidad

Bingi sa katotohanan

Tumagal ng araw, linggo, buwan at taon

Hanggang sa napagod na ko

Ngunit hindi ang isang tulad mo

Palagi kang nandyan, kahit ako’y halos taguan ka na

Takot na kaseng magmahal

Natakot na muling masaktan, maiwan sa ere

Hindi kase ako isang saranggola

Na pag katapos niyong paglaruan

Paikut-ikotin

Ay iiwan niyo na lang basta

Pasensya na

Pero bakit pa kase sa isang tulad ko pa ikaw ay nahulog?

Bakit sakin na alam mong wala ka pang pag-asa?

Bakit sakin na may mahal pang iba?

Bakit sakin na sira pa?

Bakit sa dinami rami dyan ay ako pa?

Bakit ako?

Ngunit huli na ang mga katanungan

Dahil may iba ng tao sa iyong bisig

Huli na para malaman

Na ikaw na pala ang tinitibok nitong baliw kong puso

Huli na para sa pagsisisi

Huli na para sa atin

Huli na para sumaya

Dahil may nagpapasaya na sayong iba

At hindi ako iyon

Talo na naman ako

Salamat at Patawad

Salamat, salamat sa mga araw na ginugol mo para sa akin

Salamat sa iyong mga matatamis na salitang bumu-buo ng araw ko

Salamat sa walang sawa mo’ng pagpapasaya sa akin

Salamat sa mga bagay na iyong inalay para sa akin

Salamat na kahit na may problema ako ay nan’dyan ka para sa akin

Salamat sa iyong mga ngiting nagpapalumbay sa aking puso

Salamat, salamat dahil dumating ka sa buhay ko

Salamat sa lahat ng memoryang binuo nating dalawa

At salamat sa pagmamahal mo

Ngunit, pagod na ako

Napagod ng mga araw na lumipas kakahintay sayo

Na sana ako naman, na sana sakin ka naman

Na sana isipin mo naman ako, na may isang taong naghihintay para sayo

Siguro nga lahat talaga ng bagay ay may katapusan

At ito na iyong hinihintay kong araw, na mapapagod rin ako

Pero kahit pagod na ako ay ikaw parin

Ikaw parin iyong taong minamahal ko at mamahalin ko

Magbabakasali na lamang ako sa “Pano kaya” at “Siguro”

Dahil tinatapos ko na kung ano ba’ng meron tayong dalawa

O kung meron nga ba’ng tayo, kaya patawad

Patawad sa mga araw na iyong nasayang sa isang tulad ko

Patawad sa mga nasayang mong salita para sa akin

Patawad kung kulang pa ang kakayahan ko para mapasaya ka

Patawad kung hindi ko kayang tumbasan ang mga bagay na kaya mong ibigay

Patawad dahil hindi ko kayang solusyonan iyong problema mo

Patawad kung kulang pa ako, kulang para ika’y hindi na umalis pa sa’akin

Patawad dahil umasa ako, umasa ako na pwede iyong ikaw at ako na tayo

Patawad kung minahal kita ng sobra sobra, kahit masakit na

Patawad kung hindi ako yung hinahanap hanap mong tao

Patawad kung hindi ako si Ronnie na tropa na matagal mo ng lihim na minamahal

Kase ako lang iyong best friend mo, na matagal ka ng pasekretong ninanais na mapasakanya.

Hate You

I hate seeing you, 

Because it will just hurt me even more

You will only make me remember everything that we have shared. 

I hate seeing those eyes, 

Those eyes that once gazes at me

And letting me see how much I really mean to you. 

I hate seeing those lips, 

Those that once told me how much you have loved me

And keeps on giving me hope in Forever. 

I hate seeing those hands, 

Those hands of yours that once hold my hands so tight

It’s like saying that “I don’t want to lose you. Not anymore, baby.”

I hate those arms, 

Those arms that hugs me so tight like it does not want me to go elsewhere far from it before

And once been the one I could lean on. 

It’s like a dream

A special dream that will always be and forever be in my mind and in my heart, forever. 

But, do we really have to be this way, baby? 

Do we really have to be strangers again? 

Do we really have to pretend? 

Do we really have to forget? 

a.m. 

PS. This is an old blog from my former blogsite, just did some revision but it’s still my work. (Monday, 11th of August 2014)

MONDAY, JULY 28, 2014

Miss na kita,

Miss na miss na miss.

Naalala mo yung isang picture sa phone ko?

Yung ‘Baby, ako lang ah?’

Sabi sayo ikaw lang eh,

Pero bakit ganun?

Bakit ikaw?

Sabi mo lalaban tayo pareho,

Sabi mo walang iwanan,

Sabi mo…

Sabi mo eh..

Lahat nang sinabi mo, napako.

Wala.

Wala.

Wala.

Bakit naman kase sa dinami rami ng tao na pwede kong mahalin bakit ikaw pa?

Bakit sayo pa na alam kong iiwan din ako?

Bakit sayo pa na alam kong lolokohin lang din ako?

Bakit sayo pa na alam kong panandalian lang?

Bakit sayo pa?

Bakit?

Pagod na ko,

Pagod na pagod na kong umasa, nasa susunod na mga araw,

Alam ko babalik ka,

kahit alam kong wala na talaga.

 

a.m.

Wonder 

You’ll wonder

Of how far can peter fly? 

Of how Cinderella stupidly left her shoe? 

Of how can that carpet fly? 

Of how can a fairy turn a man into a creepy creature? 

Of how does the witch be that mad for not being the fairest of them all? 

Of how can a girl let her hair be that long? 

Of how far is far far away far? 

How? 

a.m.

Ikaw at Ako at Tayo

Nag simula sa Hi, natapos sa Good bye

Ganun naman lagi diba?

Hindi ko alam kung paano nangyare

Natapos yung kwento ng hindi ko alam

Na tipong parang kahapon lang nangyare yung lahat

Umasa, umaasa at aasa, kase gusto ko yung tayo

Gusto kong maranasan yung matawag mo kong — akin

Akin to, Akin yan

Akinin mo naman ko

Na parang pag-aari mo nga talaga ako

Yun  kase yung pinalasap ko sakin e, yung pakiramdam na ikaw ay akin

kaya wag nilang sabihing wala akong karapatan kase hindi tayo

Kase meron

Meron akong karapatan kaso hindi ko pwedeng ipaglaban

kase wala ngang tayo

Nagmukha kong tanga sa harap ng lahat

pero mas masakit kase yung sarili ko niloko ko

Lumuha, luhaan at patuloy na lumuluha

Tama na, utang na loob, tama na

Masakit na

Ito ba yung kapalit ng lahat ng sakit para ipilit ang sarili?

Ito ba?

Putangina sobrang sakit

Pero lalaban pa, lalaban hanggang dulo

Kase puta mahal kita, mahal

Tanga kase ako, tanga sa pagmamahal mo

Nabingi sa mga salitang binitiwan mo, mabulaklak mong mga salita

Nabulag-bulagan sa mga senyales

Pero lalaban pa din diba? Diba?

Sana dumating talaga yung araw na mapagod na ko

Hindi dahil sa hindi na kita mahal

kundi dahil tanggap ko ng wala talaga pag-asa

Wala na kase pwedeng mabuo sa ikaw at ako, kase meron ng siya at ikaw

Masakit makisawsaw sa isang taong iniwan akong sawi puno ng pighati

Nandito ako nung wala siya, nandyan ako nung wala siya

Parati akong nasa tabi mo nung wala siya

Pero bakit siya pa din?

Masaya ka kase ako’y kasama mo, masaya kase pinapasaya kita

Masaya tayo sa isa’t isa

Pero bakit mas masaya ka parin sa piling niya?

Kulang pa ba? Alin? Saan?

kase wala akong makita kung paano?

Gusto ko parin umaasa, at itanong

Pwede ba na sa bawat ako, may ikaw? Pwede ba?

At sa bawat ikaw at ako, may tayo? Pwede pa ba?

Magiintay ako hanggang matapos yung kayo

At lalaban

Lalaban para naman sa tayo

Yung tayong dalawa hanggang dulo

 

a.m.

Perfect Universe

​In a perfect universe, you should be able to go home any time you want without fearing that bad things might happen to you on the road. In a perfect universe, you should be able to wear whatever you want without fearing that you will be harrassed, molested or considered an easy prey because of your clothes. In a perfect universe, people should come to your aid when you shout for help. In a perfect universe, you should not be worried about your safety or your loved ones’ safety because humans are kind. 
But the universe isn’t perfect, humankind is flawed and danger is real. I want you all to remember that courage is not the lack of fear, it is knowing that there is something to be scared of and acting accordingly. 
This isn’t me telling you not to live your lives, this is me reminding you to be careful. It is a tragic day for humankind when a soul asks for help but gets ignored. What happened to humanity?

– Pajama Addict

By Martin Manuel

​When They Said Time Heals Everything, They Lied
“I want more days without you.. infinite days. Not just tomorrow, next week or next month. I want you to forever be gone from my heart and my mind.”
I found this note written on a small paper in my bedroom. Hidden between pages 253 and 254 in my favorite book. And then I laughed.
How could you wish to forget someone who once meant the world to you? Who was once your happiness? Who was once the one you loved? Is it possible for us to forget someone simply by deleting them in our phone directory or blocking them on Facebook? Is it possible for us to continue our lives without even thinking about them?
I don’t know. I don’t know if I could.

Because as much as I want to forget you, you’re always there.
Every time I look at my gallery, you are there.

Every time I read my favorite book, you are there.

Every time I drink my coffee, you are there.

Every time I listen to my mix tapes, you are there.

Every time I try to sleep, you are there.

Everytimoffici, you are there.
You’re always there, in my dreams, in my head and in my heart. I still remember how it feels – you holding my arms tightly; your hands were so warm and soft.
How could you live with that? 

Leaving me too many memories to remember.
I’ve been aching for years now, and I understand why I end up writing scribbles and prose about you.
About “US”…
I write because somehow it helped me to reduce the pain of remembering you. I sip my coffee every morning, remembering how it tasted the last time I had it with you.
Honey, you’re my caffeine; you are addictive and tasteful.
I was nothing but stoic on the day when you learned how to walk away from me. Looking at you slowly disappearing into the horizon hurt so much and I knew that was the end of having you. Each step you took brought distance, separating us and all the good days we had.
You’re like a stain that never fades away.
Who told you that time heals all wounds and pains? Time doesn’t heal anything. You just have to move forward with your life because you have to, because you need to.
You carry the wounds forever, until you learn how to handle it and forget it for a little while and then you feel it again. It’s always there, the pain and the sorrow of losing someone who was once the reason for your happiness.
That’s how it works. That’s how I try to move on from you, dealing with pain everyday.